That being said, adults are not immune to developing the same kind of ungrateful conduct as children. After getting such abundant care and attention for an extended period of time, unappreciative kids sometimes become apathetic and complacent. Parents often preach and tell their children to have gratitude for all they have. However, children tend to get past these teachings and remain adamantly stuck in their negative behavior. We spoke to 5 parents who gave their two cents about why children become ungrateful and how to deal with them.
Shama Khan, a mom of two teenage boys says, “Being grateful is a taught virtue. Parents should teach and provide an example of appreciation if they want their kids to be grateful. They ought to instill gratitude in their kids as well. However, spoiling a child won’t help them learn gratitude either. A child who is overindulged eventually learns to take advantages for granted and will simply ask for more.”
“On the other hand, It is difficult for a parent who continuously badgers, berates, and harasses their child to expect gratitude. It is unrealistic to expect a small child to feel appreciative of their parents for doing the fundamental duties of providing food and shelter. When parents act like doormats, it’s understandable that their kids would use them as foot wipes. Shama also cautions parents from repeatedly provoking their children’s ire by making them recount the fundamental things a parent does for them .”
Neeta Singh, mother of a 4-year old toddler says, “If one wishes to raise appreciative kids, emphasize to them how important they are to the family. Assign them duties within the household and allow them to utilize the resources together. They ought to feel like participants rather than subjects.”
Marya Ahmed, a Hyderabad based mom says, “To raise a child with gratitude, you need to treat them with patience and understanding. Teach them discipline, but don’t be an authoritarian. Earn their respect by giving them your respect. Tell them you are grateful to have them rather than lecturing them on how they should be grateful to you for bringing them into the world. They are God’s gift to you and not something they wanted in the first place.”
Loveena Kaur, mother of 2 teenage daughters says, “I take it that you are referring to older kids. Although we have never experienced this, I think the “entitlement” issue comes to mind. I was raised in a strict household and was never permitted to voice my opinions. These days, it’s common to see young children placing their own meal orders at restaurants. Granted, it’s a nice thing to give them an option, but make sure the child will actually eat what they ordered. My pet peeve is food wastage. Some parents, in my opinion, ought to put in more effort and show better parenting techniques. Until they are told what is proper or wrong, children will behave like children. All of this is the parent’s fault. Respect is acquired via teaching them with examples.”
Apeksha Sharma, a Delhi based working mother says, “Your time is more essential than anything, therefore, you need to give it to your children. When they offer to assist you with work or simply stand next to you, resist the need to send the child off to watch TV. Play with them or just sit with them over a cup of tea. Don’t make them feel like a financial drain or burden, but instead teach them the boundaries of the family’s financial resources. It is possible to be open and honest about financial constraints without worrying a child.”
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