5 Signs You’re People Pleaser And How to Break Free From it?
People-pleasing behaviour can be detrimental to your mental and emotional health, and it often leads to a cycle of self-neglect and dissatisfaction.
Are you constantly striving to meet the expectations and demands of others at the expense of your own needs and well-being? If yes, then you may be a people pleaser. A people-pleaser personality is characterized by a great desire to please others, even at the sacrifice of oneself. They can believe that their needs and wants are unimportant or that their personalities change when they are among others. Luke Coutinho, Holistic Nutrition and Lifestyle said, “People-pleasing behaviour can be detrimental to your mental and emotional health, and it often leads to a cycle of self-neglect and dissatisfaction.” If you’re constantly trying to satisfy others, you risk losing sight of who you are. It’s possible that you are unaware of your true joys.
5 SIGNS YOU ARE A PEOPLE PLEASER
- Saying Yes to Everything: You cannot say no, even when your plate is overflowing. You are a ‘yes’ machine, constantly overcommitting and feeling like you are drowning in obligations.
- External Validation Seeking: Seeking praise and approval from others has become your daily bread. Your self-esteem depends on external validation, leaving you in a perpetual quest for a pat on the back.
- Conflict Avoidance: You’re the peacekeeper, always dodging conflict grenades, even if it means swallowing your own opinions and feelings. Harmony in relationships comes at the cost of your authenticity.
- Neglecting Your Needs: Everyone else’s needs come first on your priority list, leaving your well-being stranded on the back burner.
- Over Responsibility: You feel other’s happiness is your responsibility. The weight of making others happy and avoiding disappointment rests heavily on your shoulders, blurring the lines between selflessness and self-neglect.
5 ACTIONABLE TIPS TO BREAK FREE FROM PEOPLE-PLEASING HABITS
- Practice Self-Awareness: The first step towards overcoming people-pleasing behaviour is self-awareness. Take the time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Understand why you engage in this behaviour and how it impacts your life. Recognize the patterns and triggers that cause you to prioritize others over yourself. By becoming aware of these patterns, you can start making conscious choices to change them.
- Establish Clear Boundaries: Setting and communicating clear boundaries is essential in breaking free from people-pleasing. Learn to assertively express your thoughts, opinions, and limitations while respecting the needs and boundaries of others. Healthy boundaries are crucial for maintaining balanced relationships and ensuring your well-being.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Self-care is not a luxury. It is a necessity. Identify activities and practices that bring you joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Regular exercise, sufficient sleep, nourishing food, and engaging in hobbies or activities that recharge you are all essential components of self-care. When you take care of yourself, you become better equipped to meet your own needs and resist the urge to people-please.
- Challenge Negative Beliefs: Examine and challenge the negative beliefs that underpin your people-pleasing tendencies. These may include the need for external validation, fear of rejection, or a belief that your worth depends on others’ approval. Replace these disempowering beliefs with more positive and empowering ones. Remind yourself that your self-worth is not contingent on others’ opinions, and it is perfectly healthy to prioritize your own needs.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Breaking free from people-pleasing habits is a process that takes time and effort. Throughout this journey, be kind and gentle with yourself. Treat yourself with the same sympathy and compassion that you would give to a close one. Celebrate small victories and acknowledge that it is okay to make mistakes along the way. Self-compassion will help you stay motivated and resilient as you prioritize your well-being.
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